He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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