how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
