I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize