I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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