She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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