i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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