If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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