If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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