Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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