I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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