so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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