Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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