im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
