just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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