Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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