butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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