we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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