She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
