I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Randomize
