I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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