I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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