chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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