And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize