Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
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