I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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