Don't make out with my wife yet
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
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My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
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I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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