covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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