bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
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HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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