I am puke
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
