i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
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