im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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