it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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