YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
