found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
