instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
