I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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