Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
The power of my boobs compel you
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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