so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
It's not a walk of shame if you run
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