whjeg hajt iyt
wanna hang out?
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.