I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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