I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
