I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Who wears a wallet chain?!
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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