'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I need water and some morals
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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