Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
