just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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