Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize