whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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