is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
