i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
