just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
