Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
