Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
