when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
