Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
