just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Randomize
