Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
