It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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