WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
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I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
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I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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