people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Randomize